contempt.

you think you're always right. but what do you know. i see your point of view but u never see mine.

is yours the only way forward?

i am what i am in my own ways in my own time.

and as long as we r both human, we are like blind mice crawling in our own muck none the better than the other. what do we know?

for gd or for bad, for better or for worse, for glory or for shame, let me do it my way





you must realise that


we are not in the same league.

"what strange substance is this?" declared the marquis as he put a foot forth, and raised the specimen so that it caught a glimpse from the candlelight.

"sir, i am afraid, sir, that it is a smitten."

"a smitten!" bounced the marquis at his clerk. "why, pray tell then! what do these curious things do? how did these ceatures fester? why do they glow warm with a most exuberent tinge of gold? and what remedy is there to their bites?"

"i have not the great intelligence to placate your noble queries, but where answers do not surface, let faith reign."

much excited at the opulent glow, and being a man of timid faith, as such the marquis exclaimed,"then we must, at once, commit this to specific scientific study, and see if we have a cure for its infection."

***

to be smite by a smitten.

where words do not surface, let faith reign.



(typed in haste, mind not the spelling thanks!)

it is december 2009. an eventful year. pushing against my relative inertia to update my blog, i have not been a blank state. u all have been weighing on my mind and for fear of a post badly done i have refrained. but tis now or never.

joe- i've become quite close to u this year. thanks for all the times when u gave me great counsel and showed me there's more to living than my cloisted setting. i remember the nightstudies we did together n the ss consultations where we just stared at ms toh... also i remember all the biking n hiking trips. they were fun. somehow, wonder why we just hanged out more this year. i would always be (and still am) the clumsy one n end up doing something silly... also all the lunches we had in between sch n afternoon lessons- u must be thinking about my cinged face and general adversion to food. lol. being the laid back slacker, i didnt really bother to ask u about much school work but i remember that afternoon at bedok library doing physics tys. i bet u were astounded by the change in me since sec1 haha.in sooth, those days of days melting into night chionging for olevel was, in retrospect, bliss. i have always lookedup to u simply as a friend. throughout the year, undaunted by our inherent differences, through all the ups n downs, i am glad that we have weathered them together.

yuquan- u're a great friend. n great company! we have know each other since sec 2, in between lessons n projects. i will sure miss the times where... i dunno what happened... but we just manage to burst into spasdomic laughter. we have lots in common- ideas, beliefs n values. it was great knowing that i was not the only one around who 'sightreads' russian (and greek). we like linguistics, n it is really my wish that we can learn french together some day. man, all those times at mac bitching or discussing erhm! although we may not have had all the chances to hang out together all the time, but whenever we do, i consider it a privillage. i've always found your ideas refreshing n synchronious with my sentiments. yes, i'll remember all the times we went out n had fun. and i mean, FUN! i have a hunch that there is something that will keep us together beyond dunman.

noel- you maverick. now how did we become close in sec 3? there were a few competitions, and somehow we believed that as long we were in a team, we would win. and so we won some competitions together. tetrapak was fun, n it really bonded all of us closer together. so one rainy thursday afternoon, u called me n asked if i was interested to join NEmation. n so the dunman lions came to be, with bk n yuquan. that sept hol was fun. henceforth, u have been calling me every other night for dunno what reason to talk about u n your big ideas. but thanks, i couldnt b happier to have found such a unique friend as you. u showed me how to do things. u taught to question convention. (although common sense prevails:) ) it was great to have been your friend, to be at times, so utterly dependent on each other, to confound eachother in gd humour n to laugh. sometimes i think that there's nothing i can do for u but to b your friend.

raymond- so we became friends, and we cant exactly pinpoint when it happened in the axis of time. we have done so many things together! in sec 2 there was the ussr u were in, n i joined u guys sometime. n seriously, what was there in sch that happened without us together? u are the only one whom i expose my deepest and most candid sentiments to. although u do not hang out with the rest as much as i did, it didnt matter at all when we hung out together. some are uncomfortable with your quirky was, but heck, what do we care! we went out much this year. wonder why we didnt do so last year. i will remember all the shopping trips n adventures we had, the biking trail we discovered, the orchardcentral we ran amaze in, all the cycling trips, the t shirt making, the michaeljackson songs, the philosophical discussions, the bridge at esso, the half trips home together, the quiet connections, the english oral consultations, the starbucks, the comics, the books, the toy cars, the choir practices. speaking of that, well i am so glad that we were in that together. so that we experienced the same struggles, and found release in bitching about a common topic. europe trip was an eye opener for both of us i guess. :) (name of ungit!) thanks too for the sec 2 dream, such that we dug at dustbins to collect bottles n started the malar thingy with saiful... we r not the emo type n i love your practicality. thanks for always watching out for me. u are someone i do not need to speak to to enjoy your company. it saddens me that we part ways but we will maintain close contact. oh man, there is just nothing i can think of that we didnt do together in sch... only lab experiments! nothing gay, but it was great that we could always take a stroll to the toilet together while contemplating the day's happenings. sometimes i wonder if we could have done things differently, but in retrospect i would not change anything. keep those artistic ambitions high. thank you for being such a worthy companion. untill we meet again!

bk- i've always looked up to u as a big brother! we have been classmates n friends since sec1 and i m grateful to have known u. even though u r more of the "chinese" type while i m the staunch "english" type, it did not stop us from sharing all the fun moments. sec2 cip was funny! thanks for being a caring friend. prom together was great. we were not the closest of friends yet whenever i needed help i could turn to u. u r a resourceful guy. i m glad that u always look out for us n would put others before yourself. i regret us not catching up more this year. we were all so caught up in our own activities... alas, having known u as a friend was a privillage.

darrenkui- the wacky guy. when will we be melancholy when you r around. the stomper on the ledge!

deanne- we've shared many fond memories. remember the first time we met in sec3, we sat right beside eachother at the back of the freaking hot classroom. those were the times! i would dose off, then sometimes u would ask me questions, n i could only give the blur look and say "er... i dont know.." we became friends. your outgoing personality makes u great company. i remember the chemistry study group at your place. then we ended up playing with your electric messager n prank calling ppl! those were the times, man. and thanks for lending me windmills of the gods to read :) it was a great book. in sec 4 we got busier n did not hang out much, n i m sorry if your birthday had been a little bothced! gomanasai! please! lets hang out more! its just a plesently nice feeling when we get to eat n talk together. thank you for being a steadfast friend.

shiuheng- funny guy. there was a period in sec2 where we dident like each other. it must have been my antics. but we got over that. n went on to share many memorable times. love the choir camps together. n your unique personality. many funny times ensued. fm sec one i think we both have grown quite a bit and its great to have worked n played with u.

eugene tay- our contact had mainly been limited to choir. eventhough we did not always see eye to eye, i respect your judgement. it had been good to have you as a sl in bass.

sherry- you know in sec1 when i was a quiet kid, ppl would call out," sherry! sherry!" n i would turn my head just incase it was "jerry". in a span of 4 years we have shared the same classroom. u r a hard working girl, n thats good. we became closer after sec2 when i became more outgoing. even as we now part ways, lets keep in contact!

marcus- i remember u pulling kamini's hair in sec one. naughty boy! alas you have brought along a barrel of laughs then. we were not that close then. but your bubbly personality makes it easy to get through. i remember the sec 2 ipw we did, where we went delia house to catch ants... lol! in short, aim for the stars!

lynn tay- an understanding n caring friend! i m glad we've known each other since sec one. i will miss the ad hoc lunches at your place.

calise- its great to have met you. i love all the outings we had, the lunches we shared n the food u make. well what can i say... i m speechless:)

sihui- the girl who laughs. then laughs somemore. then cant stop laughing. then laughs somemore.
being your friend was superb. u r carring n thoughtful. and a barrel of laughs. through this year i have got to know u better. working with/ going out with you is always fun.

ssz- always gee siao me. but deep down in his bones we know he's a gd fella. right shangzhi? haha.
i pei fu your ability to organize n manage events. it was super fun to arrange last year's amazing race with you. n to recky it out once. it was also fun to run to queenstown to do the t shirt. and yes i know that i m guailan sometimes, n i take it as a compliment that u liken me to mr fox's son. :) lol. it was fun destroying your slippers... and buying them back for you. what will you think of next... thanks for being such great company.

alex- like your fietsy personality! i remember the phy sics project last year. then us eating at mos n having a hell of a time miminckig mjj and celebrating lijing day! i think we both are dreamers- in all sense of the word. keep your chin up, girl! u rock.

chun- u were there too at lijing day! we as friends have not shared the deepest history together, but u make a gd friend. it is always plasent to have you around, and oh those times when we gossip! u like music. good. cling on to it! and wii was fun. someday lets go your place for more wii.

meiyen- funny woman. i cant keep a straight face when i see you. argh! guacamole. GUA CA MOLE! discovered u were from park view only this year. chatting with u had always been fun.

joelynn- through it all... it was good to know u since sec 2. we did some crazy things since. :)

saiful- deep, contemplative. the unusual. like the times we hang out together. always full of ideas. keep your drive!

mjj- an ode to my partner in sec 1! yes i will remember you. so funny, i recall me paying you foolscap to use your correction tape. then the lame jokes you tell me. and i could not escape them because mr gan preserved the sitting arrangement! your voice and suggestions as alternatives to a simple problem do ring in our heads sometime. alas, maintain contact. its been amazing to work with you.

ms ong- you are the teacher, then the kaki, then the sister, then the "mother". well what can i say. what an experience having u as our eng cher. you who pushed me out of my comfort zone. who made me see beyond the limitations of my complacency. who lent me books, books i throughly enjoyed. everyone: must read 'till we have faces'! you are a teacher like no other. u inspire. u enpower. you demonstrate beyond the classroom. thanks. and of course, starbucks? anytime!



and all the other encounters that find themselves shifting between dream and memory, i keep near and dear.


4 years in dunman...